Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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