on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
