I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize