I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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