1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
