We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
