It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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