You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
