the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize