I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
