just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
