Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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