i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
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If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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