Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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