Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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