I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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