Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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