I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So vagazzling was a success
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize