Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
