Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
