I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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