I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
