So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
