I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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