Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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