Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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