Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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