It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize