God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
