so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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