Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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