And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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