pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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