Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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