This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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