Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
