i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I need help removing her.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
