he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
