If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
