Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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