think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
