i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
