This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
