I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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