dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
