Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
