I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just google imaged poop.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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