dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
