i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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