I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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