either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
