What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
