What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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