woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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