someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
