my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
vagina is talking i cant
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
