Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
