At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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