check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
